hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
