I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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