1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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