shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
