i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
