I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
