It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
