she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
