my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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