I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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