He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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