Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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