I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
