You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
