two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
