No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
