If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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