I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
