You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize