her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
