I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
