So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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