If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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