problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
