It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Randomize
