I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
