I think I just saw someone hide a body.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
