Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
