Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Damn victory sex feels great
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