I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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