The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
