Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
