I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
The uberlube is also flammable
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
