i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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