Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
