did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
