Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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