Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
