I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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