i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Randomize