so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
