We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize