u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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