I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
