Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
