So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
