I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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