walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize