Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
