Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
