At least make sure they are 18
Why
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
