I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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