Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
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