I molested 6 butterflies tonight
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
