somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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