I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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