Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
