The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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