You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
