Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
