do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
