is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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