my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
