No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
