coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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