How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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