He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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